Bad case of Olympic fever turns household upside down

My name is Terry, and I am married to an Olymp-aholic.

This is when you say “Hi Terry”, or at least you would if we were at an Al-Anon meeting. Only this is an Ol-Anon group for family members who have lost a loved one to the around-the-clock coverage of the Olympics.

The symptoms of this syndrome are easy to spot. For one fortnight every four years your significant other disappears into sea of silly sports like badminton and table tennis, you know, games played by bored people.

But these backyard activities become serious business to some Summer Games maniacs, like my lovely bride. She will flip back and fourth between the Sweden-Hungary water polo match and the synchronized diving qualifying.

In fact, she records two different channels’ eight-hour coverage while she’s at work so she can come home and catch the women’s kayak finals and the Japan-Canada handball match while recording the “big stuff” at night.

And by big stuff I mean swimming, gymnastics and whatever else the good ol’ USA happens to be kicking butt in that day. It doesn’t matter if goat-roping became an Olympic sport, she would cheer for the American to win.

Hey, I get Olympic fever too. I enjoy watching some of the sports – track and field, beach volleyball and basketball – although I must confess that I have not watched the Dream-On Team score a single basket so far.

I get all patriotic and root for our athletes to win, but like anything it’s a matter of moderation. Give me the finals of a few interesting sports, show me the highlights of what happened that day and I’m all good.

There’s a fine line between a fan and a fanatic, and my wife is way over the line. I knew it was bad the other day when she actually uttered these words to the DVR: “Aww, it didn’t record the equestrian events.”

She has taken over the living room TV along with my recliner. My daughter and I are forbidden from discussing anything that happened in London during the time she was at work, not to mention the five-hour time delay.

And she eventually gets behind by days, unable to process the volume of information that modern technology allows us to record. Soon we are forced to live in the past and play dumb while she catches up on 48-hour-old footage.

So where do I turn for help? I hope my story inspires others dealing with the same issues to step forward and join up for a mass intervention to save our loved ones from being sucked into this Olympic dream world.

If not, just one more week before life goes back to normal … at least until 2014. At least then I’ll get to watch the luge.

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